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 Backyard Brawl --Picture the days when you would look out the window, leaves newly nestled on the ground. You’d pull on your long pants, throw on a sweatshirt, and dig out the trusty pigskin. Soon, phones were buzzing all over town, as you called friends and enemies alike, looking to get enough people for a game of backyard football. The cool air would bite at the neck, the ground would snap and crackle under your feet, and your fingers would have that “tight” feeling in them. You knew though, that soon enough things would be better, as the impact of the game would warm you up significantly. By the end of the day, you were playing in shirt-sleeves and grass-stained to perfection.The game itself would be a backyard war that at the time was the most important thing in your life. Nothing mattered except how you were going to narrow that three touchdown deficit after throwing yet another interception. Points were of the essence. If there ever was a proving ground, a breeding place for leaders, this was it. Playing with just a few on a side, it was up to YOU to pull your squad ahead. Whether it be making that extra cut, laying out to knock down a pass, or having the head NOT to lateral the football, every single move you made was magnified a hundred times on the backyard gridiron. Like the chilly breeze, the tackles would just dust past you, barely making an impression on your determination. Out here, with no pads and minimal defensive help, the open-field tackle was of the essence. While technique may not have been perfect, you had to be deft enough on defense to haul down everyone from the fat guy to the skinny kid. Over the course of the afternoon, you would tackle and be tackled dozens of times. Your clothing would be stained completely. In the morning, soreness enslaved your entire body. But what better way to spend a fall afternoon? What better way to get active then to go outside and smack each other around? No matter where you grew up or who you grew up with, I am assuming that nearly everyone experienced the scene above at least once in their lives. Most people drift out of this phase as they get into organized football, or when they think that going outside and beating the tar out of each other is something that they are above. It is with pride and dignity that I tell you today that I have yet to grow out of this “stage.” In the glorious land of the Leonardites, backyard football is an obsession that is not to be taken lightly. Many great stories have developed out of this hobby, including the greatest legend of them all, that of THE STICK. Yes, the hardcores that were always found on the backyard gridiron became masters of this craft. There were only about five of us that never missed a session, while others would come and go to complete the field. Those of us who would play almost daily (Bryan, Dan, Logan, RJ, and Me---The consummate Leonardites), revered backyard football. I know I speak for everyone when saying that there is hardly anything that could keep us away from playing on a great fall day. Why is it so important? Why is going around and hitting each such a glorious event? If you have to ask, you can’t comprehend it. There is nothing like looking across the field, seeing the same people that you play video games with, go to school with, etc., ready to take your head off. For those four hours, those people aren’t friends. You curse their strengths (Dan’s inability to go down, RJ’s compact, fast body) when against you, praise them when with you. This constant duel with one another bred a greater appreciation for one another and their talents. The stories and memories are so rich from backyard football that I fear the day I have to hang it up. With this, we have all become very adept football players, on the backyard and actual gridiron. When people from other towns wander into our games, I don’t think I’m exaggerating when I say that they are embarrassed. We are simply better backyard football players than anybody else. It is a natural consequence of our experience. In addition to that, all of us went on to nice “actual” football careers. Dan, RJ, and I all attained All-Region status (Dan at Defensive End, RJ at Running Back, and me at Wide Receiver). Bryan already is claiming that he’ll get there as well. If history and his foolishly boastful mouth are any indication, he should reach this level fairly soon. Now, let me give you a taste of our version of the backyard game, which I am confident will be adopted as the Official Guide to Backyard Football. To get a better feel for our game, follow this link for one of my infamous “Crude Microsoft Paint” pictures. Leonardite Football Field Now, the first tenet of Leonardite football: 1) “Two-Hand Touch is strictly prohibited unless someone is injured or field conditions warrant it.” There’s something wrong when you feel somebody and then signify that as a tackle. If you’re going to go out and play, play the game like a man. The hits are the highlight of the game and in all actuality, injuries are very few and far between. I have rarely even seen blood drawn. 2) You can’t outlaw rushing completely. In our game, we allow one automatic rush per side, per set of downs. If the offense rushes on every play, they’re unstoppable. If the defense rushes on every play, it’s chaos. But against the grain of standard backyard thinking, we don’t completely outlaw rushing. With this, you have to use your automatic rush on both sides very wisely. Also, an open-field tackle on the scrambling quarterback can be as much of a game-breaker as a turnover. After the offense crosses the line without passing, they cannot cross it again, even when being blitzed. An appended rule to this is that the standard “Five Banana” count is legal for the defense at all times, even after the automatic blitz has been used up. 3) No First Downs For us, three on three constitutes a solid game. With only three people on defense, ten yards is an absurdly short distance for a first down. Thus, we have always played that you only get four downs per series, no matter what. You have to earn your touchdowns, after all. Plus, this sometimes brings out a very rare scene: A punt. (Incidentally, I pulled one of the greatest moves in Leonardite history on a punt, which I will relay to you some other time) 4) Touchdowns are worth six points. After that, you can take an automatic extra point, or go for two from the touchback line. This is an exciting part of the game. Strategy comes into play big time, when wondering whether you should just take the point, or go for two. I’m of the persuasion that you should just take the point unless you’re behind, but there are others out there who are staunch believers in going for two each and every time. Neither is necessarily right or wrong, and that makes for some interesting chess matches on the field. An added note to this rule, is that you may return an interception or fumble for two points on the two-point conversion try. This, too, can be a game changer. 5) The kickoff rules are a little bit more complicated. First of all, you may either kick from a tee, a teammate’s foot, or punt it. Punting is the most popular, but isn’t used 100% of the time. Now, here are the standard kickoff rules: - The kickoff is handled like a punt. The kicking team may not recover the ball unless the receiving team touches it first. However, the kicking team may kick it out of bounds without penalty, just like a punt in normal football. Now, a team also has the option of declaring “Onside” before the kick. By doing this, the rules of the kick are as follows: - The kickoff becomes a normal kick. The kicking team may recover the ball, provided it goes beyond a set mark that roughly equates to ten yards. They may not, however, kick it out of bounds. Doing so results in either a penalty or a re-kick; this is at the discretion of the receiving team. 6) Laterals are legal A great lateral can turn the game in your favor. A bone-headed lateral can cost you the game. 7) College rules are in play regarding out of bounds and down by contact. You only need one foot in bounds on a pass reception. With that, you only need one knee down, for any reason, to end the play. These are our basic tenets. Learn them, love them, and know them. They are a key to great backyard football. This is just a basis for the pastime that the Leonardites greatly enjoy. I realize that I haven’t gotten into any of the tremendous stories we have, but they are coming in time, trust me. In the meantime, dig out your old sweatshirt, air up the football, and great ready for a fast-approaching backyard football season. |
Dedicated to The Stick