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September 25, 2005 Name: The Moderator Location: uh...moderating This being the one hundredth post on the prestigious guestbook, The Moderator wants the leonardite to take this time and spout off about anything he wishes. Get up on that soap box that is the internet and let it be told. Leonardite: Well, I suppose there's no better time than now for this... I began to become aware of it about a year ago. I saw it in the different feelings that were experienced around people. How society's expectations just didn't feel comfortable. What is a boy supposed to do when he knows he's different? How can he tell all the people that he has loved and trusted for so long that their perception of him has been wrong, and that they need to accept it? How can he admit to himself his true identity and open up to the world for their acceptance and understanding? Obviously it's nearly impossible, but it is with great relief that I can stand before you today and officially come clean: The Duck is gay. September 24, 2005 Name: Ice Diddy Location: The Capital Mr. Leonardite, I in fact do love your website but there is one fact that I do not love. The fact that Ron Coomer is not a celebrity makes me want to cry. Change this or I will forever live in denial. Leonardite:  "What they told me was that the second time I hit in the inning, I came up as a Nothing. I was a pinch-hitter the first time, but you can't pinch-hit again. So actually, I was a Nothing. But that's ok. I've been called that before." September 23, 2005 Name: Jimmy Junk Location: Not sure I went to dental school with Harry Galbreath. I never knew that he became a football player, he was less coordinated than a three-toed sloth with two amputated toes and a bigger loser than my friend Alfred who is waiting for his Russian mail-order bride to arrive in the mail. He had an appetite though, I swear, that man could put away eighteen thousand pancakes in a matter of a few minutes. But I suppose if I had to stand in the way of Dan Marino's laser beams I'd want to bulk up in case of an emergency too. Leonardite: Yeah, I get that you like the Galbreath page, but please don't ruin it for the rest of us by poorly trying to imitate me. There are worse people to try and become than me, but if I am going to going to be your inspiration at least try and start this humor thing by making your guestbook entries funny. September 23, 2005 Name: BLARGH Location: me  Leonardite: From: dav_0001@yahoo.com To: leonardite@leonardite.com SUBJECT: xanga.com/david_page wants you to join "!!!Teenagers' share!!!" "I'm browsing through xanga sites and I find you in the Metro list. As a teenager/used-to-be teenager, I think you'd like to join this blogring (I've checked some of your information before I invite you ;)). Please don't hesitate and click on the link below. We need your support!!! Thank you very much for your kind attention. :) If you've already joined the blogring, please ignore this message. Sorry for the inconvenience so caused :) Description: Teenage times---good, bad, lively, memorable or want to get rid of it? Or do you have any memories in your teen period? This blogring is where all teenagers and everyone who used to be teenagers join together and link over the world and share our views! So, join now if you are a 'Teenage'r or still remember your Teenage time! [6012 Blog members as at 1/8/05: 2152 more than last month]" September 20, 2005 Name: The MCL E-mail: redhotcav@msn.com Location: I have no idea Ok Mr. Leonardite, lets just get a few things strait here. First of all, it's a part time job at the Buffalo Mall, not the car wash. And Secondly, I don't read "Literature"...I become cultured through scrambled softcore porn on our old T.V. Of course I could be mad at your wild accusations, but the visage of Kindred High School followed by the reason we must never go back put you in my good graces indeffinitely. Leonardite: SNOT TRICK: "Take a little sauerkraut and stuff the end of it up your nose so it hangs down over your mouth. Put your hands over your nose and mouth and fake a sneeze in front of someone. Then pull your hands down and if you can stand it, start eating the saurkraut. [Thanks to Cindy R.]" September 20, 2005 Name: The_Duck E-mail: wfduck@yahoo.com Location: Ft.Ransom Sawdbusters Day Leonardite: I feel the need to inform you that i've just determined why trailer house inhabitants prefer copulation doggy style. So they can both watch the NASCAR race at the same time. rest easy Leonardite and get some more batteries...for the remote control. Leonardite: Seriously, this thing just keeps getting dirtier and dirtier by the day. If I'm not showing my middle finger, we're discussing secondhand Penthouses and talking about trailer park copulation. Naturally I'd put a stop it, but since my goal all along has been for this thing to become a self-created pornography palace, I'd be shooting our combined dream to pieces. September 20, 2005 Name: Ercy E-mail: ercy@90proofsports.com Meet you at Subway...12:00. Leonardite: 
September 18, 2005 Name: The MCL E-mail: redhotcav@msn.com Location: college So...Leonardite...you gonna actually do some work around here, or am I gonna have to call in the big guns? (The big guns of course are composed of Theodore Johnson VII and Benjamin Jacob Thrall) Now that you've had time to crap and empty your pants, I expect witty and condescending remarks to flow like ass kissing around Jeff Johnson. Leonardite: I struggled for a long time trying to figure out why you would accuse me of being condescending before I finally gave up. I figured I should just feel fortunate that you took the time to say hello in between filling out your car wash job application and your "literature" time with a previously-owned Penthouse magazine. September 17, 2005 Name: EdibleAntiPerspirant In lieu of anything clever to say, here is a picture of the Fonz:  Leonardite: Not a bad effort, but if you can't come up with anything clever to say, I wouldn't use the guy who added "a-mundo" to every phrase as your inspiration. September 8, 2005 Name: Mr. Boombastic Location: Dickville US of A Neilian Gonzales I just wanted to stop in and say Hi and check out the webpage. Can't wait to come home and party, so be ready to go on another adventure with a hostage. See u soon peace out Leonardite: I heard that this guy drinks a gallon of milk in one sitting. And if you don't believe that, you'll never believe what he does with small critters to get high. And if you don't believe that, then you'll never believe that somebody actually tried to convince us both that these were true stories. September 8, 2005 Name: fro30 E-mail: teamokoye@yahoo.com A legend in the making. 
Big Red (?): "He ran the Krieg play as smooth as owl shit, and before I knew it, I was 16-0 and those three dudes were amazed and ready to upset me in the playoffs. Using Kansas City, the one guy got shutout by me 37-0. After that game, I pounded two beers from a bong and said, "Give me a little break here before the Championship." I drank four beers during that break and was completely rip-roaring drunk. I took a blindfold out and put it around my eyes and put the controller on the floor and took my sandles off." September 1, 2005 Name: Mandy Location: Fargo Mr. Leonardite, I just wanted you to know I love your website. You can criticize my blog anytime. Leonardite: This is going to sound like some of my usual bullshit hyperbole, but I'm not kidding this time. A Swedish website once referred to me in their native language as "The blogger's worst nightmare." I don't think you speak Forsbergian, but if you did, you'd know better than to admit your blog ownership on this site, regardless of how many Tall Tea competitions we've had at the Turf. August 23, 2005 Name: The MCL E-mail: redhotcav@msn.com Location: back in college Don't kid yourself Sheep Dawg, the Leonardite puts those spam messages there in order to make it seem like the site is frequented by people other than the Leonardite's friends and people who "gradge-a-ma-ated" from Kindred. So to make us all feel a little better: Nice site penis words. I think my pants great info. See you later next time. One Eye: 
August 20, 2005 Name: Sheep Dawg E-mail: Leonardite215@yahoo.com Location: Unfortunately Fargo I'm here to start a petition for all spam messages to be left untouched in this guestbook. After all, I enjoy seeing all kinds of spam message with generic statements like "Great site" and "Good job, I'll come back." So when I came today to look for the newest generic lines and advertisements to awesome sites and found all the spam messages to be deleted I shed a single tear. After this tear, I realized that it won't be long until The Leonardite is lazy again and will not delete the spam messages for about a week again, making me the single happiest man on the face of the earth. Bring on the spam messages please, and Mr. Leonardite, if you do have the balls to delete them again you'll pay. Oh, you'll pay dearly. *Shakes fist as threat* Leonardite: I think it's good for people to stand up and fight for things that they respect. And if coming into my guestbook and shaking your virtual fist is the best course of action you can think of, go for it. Then again, you may want to take a cue from the time I was holding my now-infamous "One World - One Leonard - One Special Wish" telethon and the warden told me to stop irritating everyone else in Detox. July 22, 2005 Name: Terry E-mail:egomanyac@hotmail.com Location: metairie, la the simple fact that el dandy endorses this site is enough for me. had his arm not been in a sling, he would have defeated flair that night in panama city when he won the raffle for a title shot. Leonardite: The ramifications of which we would still be feeling today. Think of how many times you would start a conversation with new acquaintances with the line, "Wow, remember when El Dandy won the World Title at the Spring Break Nitro?" And think of how many times they would reply "What the fuck are you talking about?" July 18, 2005 Name: Slappy White It covers my toast like a stinky fishy tarp. I know it's not butter but I can't believe it's carp! Kimi Raikonnen: 
July 12, 2005 Name: The MCL E-mail: redhotcav@msn.com Location: Oxbow Leonardite, I know that you believe the golden age of gaming died with the NES (possibly SNES) and I can understand that. However, I have kept up with the times while still paying homage to the classics. Ah River City Ransom... My ramblings aside, what is your take on the Nintendo Revolution. I know it's new and that rightfully brings fear followed by pitchforks and torches, but come on: it has the ability to play ANY game in the 20+ years of Nintendo gaming history. Granted, part of the charm of Tecmo is blowing in the cartridge and NES while reciting an incantation learned from an aboriginal shaman to get the thing to work, but wouldn't it be nice to have this work time and time again on a sleek new system. They might even enable online play for the older games (rumor so far). I know I will be in line to get one, but your thoughts on the matter should be of interest. Leonardite: The "making the old better" scam seems like a good idea, but is it really where we want to go? As with every important question I face, I would liken this to a campground. Sure, we could probably install real bathrooms with "plumbing" and "porcelain" but is that what the public really wants? I suspect that the majority still prefers the outhouse and the homespun charm of its splinters and noxious odor. July 5, 2005 Name: The MCL E-mail: redhotcav@msn.com Location: in tear induced shambles I'm too sad to greet you today Leonardite. Why you ask? Well, I haven't been around for a while, and I read the e-mail from the "follicly challenged" coach from UND. How does this affect me? Well, I too have been the victim of heartless racial slurs. Anyone who knows the MCL knows that the occasional mullet graces his neckline, and countless attacks are thrown his way. Her e-mail opened my eyes to the travesties that have gone silent for far too long. The Cass County Reporter shall soon hear my cry. Tennessee Tophat's unite!!! Leonardite: I'll try and find your editorial sandwiched between other hard-hitting news in the Reporter like what family reunion in Amenia featured relatives from almost three states and which rural church is holding its next turkey feed. July 2, 2005 Name: bd Location: Oklahoma City, Oklahoma Nice Website Tinker Air Force Base Varsity Baseball Team ...:  July 2, 2005 Name: Mike I was playing a season on Tecmo the other week because, you know, nothing makes me feel like a big man more than kicking the CPU's ass 79-0 every game. In shocking news, the Jets, yeah, the JETS won the AFC East. Sure they lost 41-7 in the first round of the playoffs, but they kicked the Bills in the nuts and then pissed on their ashes (the Dolphins were the Wild Card team). End of the world? And I can't leave a message without letting you know that your website kicks ass. I don't surf the web very much, as much of the things you have made fun of in this site (read: weblogs) basically state my case. But I stumbled upon this site while looking at some Tecmo stuff and it's a great site. I've known it for only a week and I'm already desperate for you to update the season! P.S. Freddie Joe Nunn has one of the greatest names of all-time, but he will always be second to the most incredibly monikered David Allen Boucher. Leonardite: I appreciate your astute recognition of this site's ass-kicking qualities, but as a well-qualified amateur monikerologist, I regret to inform you that David Allen Boucher is nowhere to be found on any greatest lists. Any future references should include Harry Colon, Richard "Dick" Dent, or anybody named "Fuad." |