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One week better than week five


We're in the heart of the "bye week" portion of the schedule, meaning that we will continue to see a less-than-full docket of games for the next few weeks. But that's okay, since we're starting to get to the point where only about three games a week matter anyway. By Week 15, I'll be running down games that are so boring and so meaningless that it's going to take only sheer dedication and NoDoz to keep myself committed to the task at hand.

Game of the Week: Denver vs. Houston



Cleveland (0-4) vs. New York Jets (3-2)

McNeil was back in the Jets lineup, but he was unable to top Kevin Mack's stratospheric 34 yards as the Browns claimed their first victory of the season.

Final Score: Cleveland-20 New York Jets-10

Chicago (4-1) vs. Washington (1-4)

Burdened by the memories of the previous week's screwjob and the loss of Neal Anderson, the Bears put up one embarassing effort. Conversely, the Redskins played a real football game for the first time since blowing out the Lions in Week 1.

Final Score: Washington-30 Chicago-10

Miami (3-2) vs. New England (1-4)

Only the Patriots could have their halfback go off for 172 yards and still lose by two touchdowns. Of course, it probably would have helped a little bit if Grogan had thrown for more than 43 yards in an entire game.

Final Score: Miami-27 New England-14

Philadelphia (3-2) vs. Tampa Bay (0-5)

The Buccaneers are bad enough that they don't need any handicaps, but they certainly received one when Gary Anderson went down in the third quarter. But to be honest, they could put Gary Andersen in at halfback and these guys still probably wouldn't win a game.

Final Score: Philadelphia-28 Tampa Bay-24

Cincinnati (2-2) vs. Seattle (2-3)

The Bengals had two weeks to prepare for a disheartening loss to the Seahawks and they didn't disappoint. Seattle, meanwhile, has climbed to .500 and looks poised to move to the top of the suddenly shaky AFC West.

Final Score: Seattle-24 Cincinnati-16

Los Angeles Raiders (2-3) vs. San Diego (1-4)

Bo Jackson once again gave more than 25% effort in this game and overcame Fellatio and Anthony Miller's passing clinic to post LA's third win of the year. The Raiders are using incentives and illegal bribery to keep Bo interested and their playoff hopes alive.

Final Score: Los Angeles Raiders-27 San Diego-21

Indianapolis (1-4) vs. Pittsburgh (2-2)

The Steelers lost Dwight Stone early in this game, but used their punishing defense and Indy's dearth of football skills to gut out a victory and keep pace with their nearly unstoppable divisional rivals from Houston.

Final Score: Pittsburgh-20 Indianapolis-14

New York Giants (3-2) vs. Phoenix (2-3)

Following Indianapolis's lead, the Cardinals elected not to score in the second half and consequently, elected not to win a very important game on their schedule.

Final Score: New York Giants-14 Phoenix-9

Buffalo (4-1) vs. Kansas City (3-2)

In another introduction of compelling evidence of the Buffalo Tecmo bias, Christian Okoye was felled by injury in the second quarter and the Chiefs were felled by the blatant voodoo perpetrated by Buffalo. The AFC West has now officially been plunged into a four-way tie for first place.

Final Score: Buffalo-24 Kansas City-14

Detroit (2-3) vs. Minnesota (1-4)

I laughed when Detroit told me before the game that they were serious about reentering the NFC Central race. I wasn't laughing after they took the Vikings out to the backyard and violently molested them for their third straight win.

Final Score: Detroit-34 Minnesota-6

Dallas (4-1) vs. Green Bay (4-1)

In what was probably the best game on the docket all week, Dallas used heart and marijuana-dealing offensive linemen to emerge with a well-deserved one point victory. And it's a good thing too, because a loss would have brought them into a tie with Philly and the Giants and once those two teams catch America's team, it's probably a pretty safe bet that we won't see Dallas alone on top again.

Final Score: Dallas-14 Green Bay-13



AFC EAST
Buffalo5-1
Miami4-2
New York Jets3-3
Indianapolis1-5
New England1-5

AFC CENTRAL
Houston5-0
Pittsburgh3-2
Cincinnati2-3
Cleveland1-4

AFC WEST
Denver3-3
Kansas City3-3
Los Angeles Raiders3-3
Seattle3-3
San Diego1-5

NFC EAST
Dallas5-1
New York Giants4-2
Philadelphia4-2
Phoenix2-4
Washington2-4

NFC CENTRAL
Chicago4-2
Green Bay4-2
Detroit3-3
Minnesota1-5
Tampa Bay0-6

NFC WEST
San Francisco4-1
Atlanta3-2
Los Angeles Rams3-2
New Orleans3-2



Player of the Week



Nobody really stood out this week, but I decided to give it to Bo since he put up a very mundane (for him) 128 yards and led the Raiders into a first place tie in the process. This looked highly improbable a few weeks ago, but slumping Broncos and injured Nigerians can change the landscape quite quickly.

Maimed
NEW
Gary Anderson- TB
Dwight Stone- PIT
Christian Okoye- KC

OLD
Sterling Sharpe- GB (Week 4)
Neal Anderson- CHI (Week 4)



Mended
Freeman McNeil- JET (Week 3)


Coming next week...

- Week 7 results
- Player of the Week
-Game of the Week: Los Angeles Raiders vs. Seattle


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