Unleash the beast
Three weeks are down and we're starting to get our first glimpses of how the season might shape up. The Dolphins and Packers (two teams in the Game of the Week) are solidifying themselves as early contenders, the NFC West is in a logjam, and even Colts fans aren't ruling out a run to the playoffs at this point. But that's only because they ruled that out months ago. So how will Week 4 shake down? If you really care, you would've stopped reading this paragraph and started scrolling a long time ago.
Los Angeles Rams (2-1) vs. San Francisco 49ers (2-1)
The Rams had a chance to continue a decent start by defeating the 49ers, but Joe Montana nearly touched 300 yards as Frisco improved to 3-1. The Niners haven't looked totally dominant this season, but Joe Theismann is speculating that they will turn it on come playoff time AND that his leg might be fully healed by 2014.
Final Score: San Francisco-28 Los Angeles Rams-21
Buffalo (2-1) vs. Tampa Bay (0-3)
The Bills stormed out to 27 points in the first half and then stopped trying, cruelly allowing the Buccaneers to get to 24 and fall just short. Thurman Thomas put up 142 yards on ten carries as the Buccaneers are looking like strong contenders to be the worst team in the NFL this season.
Final Score: Buffalo-27 Tampa Bay-24
Philadelphia Eagles (1-2) vs. Pittsburgh Steelers (2-1)
The Eagles came into the battle for Pennsylvania a full two games down to the Cowboys of all teams, AND they were forced to make up ground with a non-anonymous, caucasian quarterback. Fortunately for them, his name was anything but "Bubby Brister" and subsequently the Eagles improved to .500.
Final Score: Philadelphia-27 Pittsburgh-24
Atlanta Falcons (2-1) vs. Los Angeles Raiders (1-2)
It took until week 3, but Bo Jackson finally decided to start playing football. And this was really bad timing for the Falcons who fell out of first place in the NFC West and soon enough will be getting familiar with the cellar for another year.
Final Score: Los Angeles Raiders-28 Atlanta-17
Denver Broncos (2-1) vs. San Diego Chargers (0-3)
After John Elway's legendary zero completion/three interception performance last week, the Broncos decided to feed the ball to Bobby Humphrey and let him carry the squad to victory. Then again, zero completions and three interceptions probably would've been enough to beat the Chargers. And two connected passes would be just running up the score on the horrible squad from San Diego.
Final Score: Denver-21 San Diego-10
Dallas Cowboys (3-0) vs. Phoenix Cardinals (1-2)
The Cowboys seemed ripe to be knocked from their pedestal this week, but when the opposing quarterback can't even spell "Tim," the chances of this happening were less than minimal.
Final Score: Dallas-21 Phoenix-14
Minnesota (0-3) vs. New Orleans (2-1)
These two teams came in needing to keep pace with their division rivals. New Orleans needed a win to maintain a first place tie with San Francisco, and Minnesota needed a loss to match Tampa Bay's unblemished record of futility. Wade Wilson's two interceptions were enough to lead his team to the glorious promised land of embarassing defeat.
Final Score: New Orleans-24 Minnesota-13
Cincinnati (1-2) vs. Washington (1-2)
Coming off the national exposure granted to them last week by your author, Boomer Esiason and the Bengals steamrolled the Redskins who appear lost, defeated, and hampered by a lousy quarterback/Lawrence Taylor post-sack urinal.
Final Score: Cincinnati-35 Washington-20
Kansas City (2-1) vs. Seattle (1-2)
I still think Seattle is going to make a run in the AFC West and Derrick Fenner's 130 yards brought them to overtime in this one. I can't fault him, or the Seahawks really, for not being to able to contend with the precise kicking abilities of the Kansas City placekicking cyborg.
Final Score: Kansas City-20 Seattle-17 (OT)
Cleveland (0-3) vs. New York Giants (3-0)
The Browns kept the string of perfectly pathetic play by the winless teams intact by allowing Phil Simms to complete 100% of his passes and the Giants to put up 34 points.
Final Score: New York Giants-34 Cleveland-24
Houston (3-0) vs. New England (1-2)
This was a huge victory for the Patriots and one that they will remember for a long time. The champagne bottles were popping, Steve Grogan was covered in suds, and a hammered Ronnie Lippett kissed a news reporter. Of course they didn't win the game, but when you're the Patriots it's all about moral victories, and Marv Cook racking up six more receiving yards than Drew Hill was more than enough reason to celebrate.
Final Score: Houston-34 New England-20
Detroit (0-3) vs. Indianapolis (1-2)
Looking at their competition, it looked like the Lions had a strong chance to unfortunately remove themselves from the fraternity of awful football. Barry Sanders and his 157 yards removed all doubt.
Final Score: Detroit-20 Indianapolis-10
Chicago Bears (3-0) vs. New York Jets (2-1)
Both teams needed to win to maintain first place ties and after Jim Harbaugh unfathomably threw for 256 yards, there was no way the Jets had a chance.
Final Score: Chicago-21 New York Jets-10
Player of the Week
I'm feeling Barry Sanders on this one considering he did average nearly twenty yards per carry in leading his team out of the ranks of the winless. Plus, I was tired of naming QB's Player of the Week and since it's nearly impossible to pick defenders now, Barry Sanders, a winner is you.
Freeman McNeil- JET (Week 3)
QB Eagles- PHI (Week 3)
Coming next week...
- Week 5 results
- Player of the Week
-Game of the Week: Buffalo vs. Chicago