Limber up your arms, Boomer and What's-Your-Face
So Week 2 didn't have the courtesy to deliver injuries either, but we did see the Patriots go wild enough that they were able to bury astounding games from perenial suck artists, Mark Green and Chris Miller, and allow one of their own (Steve Grogan) to take home Player of the Week honors. Week 3 has some interesting games on tap that should help filter out some of the contenders from the pretenders, but our game of the week is certainly not one of them. The battle for Ohio features two teams just trying to get their first win of the season.
Detroit Lions (0-2) vs. Miami Dolphins (2-0)
The Dolphins are building hopes in America that they can steal the East from the Bills, while the Lions are building hopes in Tampa Bay that they can steal the title of "Worst Team Ever" from the 1976 Buccaneers.
Final Score: Miami-28 Detroit-14
Minnesota Vikings (0-2) vs. San Francisco (1-1)
Watch out, Detroit, the Vikings aren't going down without a fight. Jerry Rice had 133 yards receiving as the 49ers bitch-slapped an overwhelmed and undertalented Minnesota squad.
Final Score: San Francisco-33 Minnesota-13
New England Patriots (1-1) vs. Pittsburgh Steelers (1-1)
You knew the Patriots were playing beyond their capabilities last week when Irving Fryar led the team with eight receptions. You knew they were back in proper form this week when John Stephens led them with one.
Final Score: Pittsburgh-17 New England-10
Denver Broncos (2-0) vs. Seattle Seahawks (0-2)
I have long been a major proponent of a theory that states that in addition to having horse teeth, John Elway is a terrible Tecmo quarterback. A lot of you might disagree, but a glance to the right will reveal that he didn't do much to help your argument in this demolition.
Final Score: Seattle-24 Denver-0
Houston Oilers (2-0) vs. Kansas City Chiefs (2-0)
If the Chiefs hadn't been in last week's featured game, this one would have been the representative from Week 3. It was a good thing for Chiefs fans that it wasn't, because Warren Moon, the Oilers, and their Week 3 donkey-punching reminded Kansas City just who were the big boys in the AFC.
Final Score: Houston-31 Kansas City-14
Indianapolis Colts (1-1) vs. Los Angeles Raiders (0-2)
This carnival of statitistics and points brought Bo Jackson his first 100 yard game, the Raiders their first win, and Jay Schroeder the first free hooker of his career.
Final Score: Los Angeles Raiders-38 Indianapolis-34
Phoenix Cardinals (0-2) vs. Washington Redskins (1-1)
Both teams had a receiver and a running back go over 100 yards, but Johnny Johnson's 135 yards on 15 carries were enough to carry he and his untalented teammates to their first victory of the season.
Final Score: Phoenix-24 Washington-21
Buffalo Bills (1-1) vs. New York Jets (2-0)
The Jets have come out of the gates hot with a 2-0 start and I said that if they won this game, I'd be a believer. After the molesting that took place here, I'm not exactly a Jets disciple.
Final Score: Buffalo-41 New York Jets-7
Chicago Bears (2-0) vs. New York Giants (1-1)
They haven't really missed him, but the Bears got Neal Anderson back for an important early season game. And after grinding out an impressive win over LT and company, the Bears are looking like one of the best teams (in one of the most awful divisions) in the league.
Final Score: Chicago Bears-24 New York Giants-10
Dallas Cowboys (2-0) vs. Philadelphia Eagles (1-1)
The Cowboys had a chance to open up a two game lead in the East and were given a huge Christmas present in the first quarter when QB Eagles ran so fast that he ignited himself and suffered second-degree burns across his legs. The Jim McMahon-led Eagles rallied furiously, but were narrowly defeated by the exceptionally lucky Dallas Cowboys.
Final Score: Dallas-23 Philadelphia-21
Green Bay Packers (2-0) vs. Tampa Bay Buccaneers (0-2)
Like the Cowboys, the Packers were looking to improve to 3-0. And while the Cowboys got a huge gift with the injury to QB Eagles, the Packers got an even bigger one with Tampa Bay appearing on the schedule.
Final Score: Green Bay-17 Tampa Bay-7
Atlanta Falcons (1-1) vs. San Diego Chargers (0-2)
Greg Davis hit a field goal as the Falcons defeated the Chargers in the first overtime game of the season. Chris Miller continued his streak of inexplicable good play, racking up 317 yards through the air, and has been sent to the state mental hospital for evaluation.
Final Score: Atlanta-24 San Diego-21 (OT)
Los Angeles Rams (2-0) vs. New Orleans Saints (1-1)
The Rams were another mediocre team that had started hot, but Dalton Hilliard put up 95 yards as the Saints brought the entire NFC West into a first place tie.
Final Score: New Orleans-35 Los Angeles-21
Player of the Week
Even with the benefit of overtime, Chris Miller putting up over 300 yards passing is deserving of special recognition. I thought about giving it to Earnest Byner whose point total this season (54) far surpasses that of the entire Tampa Bay team (26), but there are six other guys who can make that claim as well.
Freeman McNeil- JET (Week 3)
QB Eagles- PHI (Week 3)
James Brooks- CIN (Week 1)
Neal Anderson- CHI (Week 1)
Coming next week...
- Week 4 results
- Player of the Week
-Game of the Week: Green Bay vs. Miami