Skeleton CrewContrary to what you might think, I'm dry humping Tucker in the back in this picture. Again, a belly full of Keystone Light will make you do strange things. This also explains how Tucker is married. (Editor's Note: "Zing!") Perhaps I was just showing him my gratitude for putting on a pretty good tailgate and for giving me an undergraduate career full of tremendous memories and potential jokes to put on my website. If that doesn't deserve some crotch grinding in the spine, it's hard to imagine what does.
More interesting, though, is the guy to Tucker's right in this picture.
For the readers familiar with the Winter Olympics, you know that the real entertainment lies in the really sweet events like luge and bobsled and not the ones women watch like figure skating and the synchronized frozen tampon toss. In the former events, the craziest assholes of them all are the ones who grab a dinner plate, sprint straight forward, and hurtle themselves down the luge run at 70 miles per hour face-first. There's a lot of things that drunk guys say they would do: Climb a mountain, fight the biggest guy in the bar, eat their weight in peanuts. Nobody has ever been crazy enough to say that they would try skeleton.
Well that's what Luke does, for Team USA no less, so when you're mouthing off in a bar in 2010 about how you're going to eat 180 pounds worth of Planters, remember that Luke - completely sober - is on the television riding a TV dinner to his death in the Olympics.