Piston Honda gets a whiff of his lawyer's body odor.
Japan is in a state of dejection today following an executive decision of the World Video Boxing Association. Native son, Piston Honda, who lost a controversial decision to Mr. Sandman two weeks ago, was denied in his quest to have the match ruling overturned.
“While it is clear that Rocky Balboa acted like a meathead in scoring the fight, the issue still stands that it is not only probable, but likely that you would have lost the match anyway.” read WVBA czar, Doc Louis, to a large crowd.
A nervous Honda twitched his eyebrows furiously during the reading of the decision by the WVBA High Council, which consists of Doc Louis, Referee Mario, and Official Scorer Slo Mo Jones. In a 3-0 decision by the council, Mr. Sandman’s win was upheld.
Commenting afterwards, Referee Mario said, “It’s a meeeeeeeeeeee!, MARIOOOOOOOOO!”
The Honda camp stopped at nothing to have this ruling thrown out. Besides the obvious misuse of the scoring system by Balboa, Honda’s group tried to challenge Mr. Sandman’s weight and the possibility that Referee Mario was on mushrooms during the fight. Doc Louis even conceded that it was “likely” that Mario was, but with no test given, nothing could be done in retrospect.
Honda had no comment afterward and his trainers were barred from the hearing room due to their inability to speak coherent English. Louis did this because he felt it would hinder the proceedings. “If they can’t speak no damn English, they’s got no right to sit in when I’m making decisions.”
Piston Honda, now 1-1, has fallen to #4 in the World Rankings.
Piston Honda’s background:
Name: Piston Honda
From: Tokyo, Japan
Weight: 174 pounds
Quotes: "I'll give you a TKO from Tokyo!"
"Where is the NHK TV camera? Hello Tokyo!"
"You should wear a helmet when you fight me!"
"I still remember our first fight. Now I'm gonna make you pay back banzai!!"
"Sushi, Kamikaze, Fujiyama, Nipponichi..."
Pre-WVBA: A renowned philanthropist, Piston Honda originally came to the United States in an attempt to minister to the Detroit Pistons basketball team in the late 1980’s. It was there that he developed a solid friendship with center Bill Laimbeer. After seeing Laimbeer take a sucker punch from Boston Celtics’ center Robert Parrish, Piston became infatuated with boxing and gave up his life of charity.
WVBA I: Hardly knowing anything about boxing, Piston went through the standard Gold Gloves circuit, before being kicked out because he was too green. He settled upon the less prestigious Velvet Gloves, and it was there that he met a young Don Flamenco. Through Flamenco’s connections, both men landed in the WVBA. Once there, Piston attained the Minor Circuit Title and a #5 World Ranking.
WVBA II: Piston Honda has become a legend in Japan and the country has gone crazy to an Ichiro extent. Honda, now a glory hog, is always looking to get himself on NHK TV. In fact, he hosts two programs on the network, “Fly-Fishing with the Hondmeister” as well as “Sushi, Kamikaze, Fujiyama, Nipponichi… MUCH A FUNNY!”, a sketch-based comedy show.
Due to his old friendship, Honda has also been the most outspoken critic of the WVBA’s severing of ties with Don Flamenco and has tried many times with bribes of buffets and various desserts to get Doc Louis to bring him back.
What others have to say about Piston:
“Piston Honda is just a doll. It’s almost sick how good of a puncher he is, don’t you think! LOL! ” – Don Flamenco
“We were once considering making a Japanese version of “The Love Connection” for NHK and Piston was right in line to host it. What talent, what dashing good looks, that kid had it all.” – Chuck Woolery
“Honda, I know where you live, I know where you sleep, and I know you are conspiring with the Foot Clan. If I ever run into you, you’re getting a pair of Katana Blades lodged in your cerebellum, buddy, that’s a promise. ” – Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle, Leonardo.
“Piston, his gloves…….like lightning in gym! Tremendous pontoon!” -Piston Honda’s trainer
What Doc Louis has to say about Piston Honda:
“Piston Honda…..hmm…..I’ll tell you what, that kid could pound the wrinkles out of Barbara Streisand’s face, that’s for damn sure. He’s got good moves, I like him the ring, think he’s a good fighter. If he’d stop sticking up for that Spanish fairy, maybe he’d be on the fast track to success. But this is boxing, baby, and you need to pick your allies wisely.”
WVBA II Match History: