Little Mac puts on his most questionable jumpsuit and jogs with a bike-riding bear.
Leonard, ND (9/3/03) ----
In a bizarre melding of sports and retro video gaming, the long-defunct World Video Boxing Association (WVBA), announced an unexpected resurgence and reformation. Formerly owned and operated by the Nintendo Corporation, the WVBA was sent into dormancy following the Super Punch Out Tour in 1994. For the past nine years, Nintendo still owned but conducted no formal operations with the legendary circuit. All of that changed as of yesterday, when an old friend of the circuit stepped in to save it.
“I was tired of the way they prostituted out the fighters and their services to little kids around the country and then took all the credit. It was time for me to get back on my bike and get in control of the show...” remarked Doc Louis to a group of reporters gathered at the press conference.
Louis, a former trainer for WVBA fighter, Little Mac, purchased the circuit from Nintendo for an undisclosed amount and immediately assumed control. But the purchase was not complete without thorough planning.
“We needed a stage, a platform in which we could exhibit the WVBA. For Nintendo, it was easy because they could showcase the series on their game systems, but obviously I don’t have that luxury. So we had to look for other partners.”
Louis said right from the beginning that the most interested (and truthfully, the only interested party) was Leonardite.com. “Leonardite.com offered the WVBA a permanent home and me a ham sandwich, so obviously I was going to take that deal.”
When asked to comment about his site’s involvement with the WVBA, the Leonardite, who was not in attendance at the press conference, released this statement:
“Leonardite.com is proud to bring in the World Video Boxing Association on a permanent basis. Whereas the former owners used to only showcase the promotion once every few years, we are ready to give it the recognition it deserves. It was an easy decision to make, especially after Doc Louis promised us that Little Mac would not be wearing his pink jumpsuit.”
With the company in hand and a home in place, Doc Louis is excited for the future. His first order of business was to initiate the rule that only NES-era fighters would be asked to return.
“Super Punch Out was a bastardized version of the original and will not be incorporated into my company.”
Asked as to how many of the aging fighters had committed to return, Louis said that eleven of the twelve had signed up, with Don Flamenco the lone holdout.
A disgusted Louis remarked, “Don’t even get me started on that European flamer.”
With a nearly full roster, a new home, and a new owner, the WVBA is again ready to soar. Fans are encouraged to stay tuned in to Leonardite.com for new developments. Asked if he had any further comments, Doc only unhelpfully added:
“Join the Nintendo fun club today Mac!”