Most people that create biographical websites on numerous wrestlers often start with the usual suspects like Steve Austin, Hulk Hogan, and The Rock. Most people that create biographical wrestling websites also are wearing a paper crown made out of the Backlash PPV card and have a catheter inserted so as not to miss any moment of WWE Confidential and their groundbreaking look into the art of Diva pillow fighting.
I'm different. Not only is my paper crown made out of the Verve Pipe CD liner, but my all-inclusive wrestling biographies at this point have no Rock, Hogan, or Steve Austin, but do include Charles Robinson and Earnest Miller. And now we can add to that fortress of starpower the most vicious man to enter a wrestling ring whose last name wasn't actually "Vicious," Mr. Brian Knobbs. Excuse me, "Nasty" Brian Knobbs. (And for you abbreviation buffs, "Nasty" as a titled abbreviation is a drawn middle finger which can only be roughly duplicated on a computer as:
<^>. Brian Knobbs
Enter Brian Knobbs. Knobbs was too small for anyone to "ooh and ahh" over and his athleticism was right in between a paraplegic and a tree stump. But damn it, the man could swing a trash can.
Real Name: Brian Yandrisovitz
Occupation: Nasty Boy
Promotions: WWF, WCW
Titles Held: WWF Tag Team, WCW Tag Team, WCW Hardcore
With most wrestlers, I have been breaking down their careers in each of the major federations with highlights memorable to me. When it comes to Knobbs, my only memories consist of about a three-month run in WCW where his body shape was estimated as "marshmallow." His most famous days were with the Nasty Boys tag team, but he's not nearly as cool to talk about unless it was during an era when "BRIAN KNOBBS" got flashed on the screen when he came to the ring so this era will be avoided entirely.
Upon reviewing the tape with detectives and fellow attendees, we saw Knobbs give a post-match "interview" that consisted of him panting into the camera at a distance of three inches. The desired content of his message eluded stenographers on the scene, but the words "Nasty," "Pain," and "Bear claw" were recognized and recorded.
Knobbs spent the better part of 1999 rumbling in junkyards and fighting guys with equally cool names like Fit Finlay and guys with really shitty names like Hak. This is the first and last time you'll ever see the WCW Hardcore Division referred to as the "better part" of anything.
Finisher: <^>. Knobbs's finisher is listed as "PitStop," a description of which I have been unable to find on the internet or in my brain. I'm assuming it refers to the fact that most people went to the bathroom while Knobbs was "wrestling."
The Knobbs Verdict: Nobody wants to come out and say it, but "Nasty" Brian Knobbs is totally awesome. I found out that he's currently unemployed but I'll take Knobbs and his garbage receptacle attacks over what's currently on RAW any day. Hell, I'll take Knobbs over almost everything else on TV today. You can have your reality shows, but you know there's nothing more real than Brian Knobbs smashing The Wall with a Singapore Cane until he bleeds and then getting smashed with him on the plane to the next show.