A plan that has been in the works since the earliest moments of Leonardite.com's conception is now going into motion. It is BUCKNER WEEK AT LEONARDITE.COM! The plan right now is for Monday through Friday this week to feature some new form of Buckner material for the masses to enjoy. What will each day bring? That's a mystery that only myself and my secret diary tape-recordings know.
With the Red Sox fans thinking that they actually deserved to win the World Series, there is not a more perfect time for Buckner Week. Our week kicks off with a famous piece of writing that came from my brother, which he dubiously claims was not written under the influence of alcohol. I do not know exactly when he wrote it (I believe about three years ago) but his perfection in prose has been a hit on the e-mail circuit for awhile now. And fittingly, it kickstarts Buckner Week here at Leonardite.com.
Sox fans were cheering the wonderful day
The players were manning their positions with care
In hopes the third out, soon would be there
The Mets were nestled down on their bench
No one near Mookie, because of his stench
And Billy Buck with his mustache tucked under his cap
Had just settled down for an ill-timed nap
When from Mookie's bat there arose such a clatter
I rose from my seat, "Let's finish this matter"
But right through his legs it went like a flash
and out into right, was he smoking grass?
I couldn't believe it, I shouted out "NO"
and watched hopelessly as the Mets cheered below
And what to my dismayed eyes should appear
the vendors are leaving, they've stopped selling beer
I couldn't believe it, I cried for days
Maybe he would have seen it if he knew how to shave
So don't tell me good ol' Bill gave his all,
the drunken old bastard can't catch the ball
So Red Sox will suffer the curse of Ruth
Bill Buckner's a traitor, and that's the truth
As he left town for Montana, I heard him say
"The Red Sox suck, Ted Williams is gay"
Back in the box, Mookie