Neil says:

Sometimes the pictures are so ridiculous that there is no need for a response. So instead, I will entertain us all by typing the chorus to Corey Hart's hit single, "Sunglasses at Night."

Don't switch the blade on the guy in shades
oh no.
Don't masquerade with the guy in shades
oh no
I can't believe it!
Don't be afraid of the guy in shades
oh no
it can't escape you

Dan says:

Imagine that you are a football player. You are even good enough so that some little girl can get a picture of you in your uniform with your helmet at your side, showing your face to the world. Then one day you wake up and open your new issue of SI for Kids. What do you see? Nothing other than you in lipstick, eyeliner, blush, a huge ass wig, long eyelashes, the laces of the football painted red, red sweatbands, your damn fingernails painted red, and to top it all off you are wearing a fucking Cleveland Cosmetics jersey! Thanks for ruining someone’s life, Melanie.